No baby.
The Pod was having problems Thursday morning and we rushed over to the Birth Center to get her checked out. They did an examination, and needing more information, they were able to get us in next door at Bryn Mawr Hospital for an ultrasound right away. The ultrasound technician looked and looked, and finally she brought the doctor in and she looked and looked. Finally the doctor said it's not okay.
The developmental sac (in which the growing embryo should have been) was there, but the embryo wasn't. The Birth Center later explained that it was a blighted ovum, usually caused by chromosomal abnormalities, and a miscarriage was coming. The fertilized egg implanted, but the embryo never developed properly.
It was heartbreaking to come home and have to start telling people, but just as we wanted people to know in the very beginning, we wanted people to know now. And we both agreed that staying home Friday wouldn't be much help, so we soldiered on, going to work and school, and we were fine.
As it turns out, many of our friends unfortunately have had first-hand experience with miscarriage. It's given us an awareness, and unfortunately or fortunately, a lot of people who can relate to what we're going through. We are grateful to have such great family and friends supporting us.
But thankfully, this doesn't preclude us from conceiving again, or put us at greater risk for another miscarriage. It just wasn't in the Lord's plan this time. Our time will come.
Programming note: Just like us, the blog must go on! Stay tuned for more...
Friday, March 16, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Maternity clothes and paternity pants
At the three month mark, The Pod's current selection of pants and jeans are just starting not to fit properly. It's shopping time!
We set out bright and early on Saturday morning to see what Target had to offer in maternity wear. The Pod did very well here, scoring really nice maternity jeans and a top for a nice price. It was all new for me, seeing the state-of-the art in maternity jeans technology. Basically they are regular jeans, with a wide band of elastic at the top to accommodate the belly. Satisfied here, we next moved onto the mall, first trying JCPenney, where she scored more maternity pants, a nice khaki number on sale.
Next was the "mother lode" at Motherhood Maternity. She really liked the selection there, and the sales clerk was very helpful. And more evidence that she's not showing yet, this was more or less the exchange after The Pod wasn't quite finding her size after some looking around:
The Pod: "I'm three months pregnant."
Clerk: "Oh, obviously this isn't your first pregnancy."
The Pod: "No, this is."
Clerk: "Really? You're not showing at all!"
The Pod: "I know!"
Thanks to her friendly clerk, she scored another top and more maternity jeans, which fit perfectly and were the cheapest ones she tried. Definitely worth a return trip when more maternity wear is required. She capped off our super-successful shopping trip with new sneakers from Lord & Taylor, which were also on sale. Being pregnant must be a shopping good luck charm, everywhere we went, things magically went on sale. Nice!
Paternity pants: Needing new jeans myself (not because I'm pregnant, thank you), I took a detour to Lord & Taylor while The Pod stopped in Easy Spirit, and I happened on a pair of Ben Sherman jeans (my favorite!) on a sale rack, but they were a bit too big for me according to the label. There was no price tag, but something told me that was a good thing. I found the tag in the back pocket, it said $61.99, but undeterred, I checked it at the self-scanner, and it came up $9.99. $9.99!
Heck, for $9.99, I can live with them being too big. So I ran into the fitting room and tried them on, and they fit perfectly. (Oops! So much for too big!) I took them to the counter, made sure they really were $9.99, paid and practically ran out of there like I stole them. Now The Pod calls them my paternity pants.
We set out bright and early on Saturday morning to see what Target had to offer in maternity wear. The Pod did very well here, scoring really nice maternity jeans and a top for a nice price. It was all new for me, seeing the state-of-the art in maternity jeans technology. Basically they are regular jeans, with a wide band of elastic at the top to accommodate the belly. Satisfied here, we next moved onto the mall, first trying JCPenney, where she scored more maternity pants, a nice khaki number on sale.
Next was the "mother lode" at Motherhood Maternity. She really liked the selection there, and the sales clerk was very helpful. And more evidence that she's not showing yet, this was more or less the exchange after The Pod wasn't quite finding her size after some looking around:
The Pod: "I'm three months pregnant."
Clerk: "Oh, obviously this isn't your first pregnancy."
The Pod: "No, this is."
Clerk: "Really? You're not showing at all!"
The Pod: "I know!"
Thanks to her friendly clerk, she scored another top and more maternity jeans, which fit perfectly and were the cheapest ones she tried. Definitely worth a return trip when more maternity wear is required. She capped off our super-successful shopping trip with new sneakers from Lord & Taylor, which were also on sale. Being pregnant must be a shopping good luck charm, everywhere we went, things magically went on sale. Nice!
Paternity pants: Needing new jeans myself (not because I'm pregnant, thank you), I took a detour to Lord & Taylor while The Pod stopped in Easy Spirit, and I happened on a pair of Ben Sherman jeans (my favorite!) on a sale rack, but they were a bit too big for me according to the label. There was no price tag, but something told me that was a good thing. I found the tag in the back pocket, it said $61.99, but undeterred, I checked it at the self-scanner, and it came up $9.99. $9.99!
Heck, for $9.99, I can live with them being too big. So I ran into the fitting room and tried them on, and they fit perfectly. (Oops! So much for too big!) I took them to the counter, made sure they really were $9.99, paid and practically ran out of there like I stole them. Now The Pod calls them my paternity pants.
Friday, March 9, 2007
12 weeks
The Pod is officially 12 weeks pregnant. Next week: baker's dozen!And now, 12 Adventures in Pregnancy tidbits:
1. According to Denise at The Birth Center, our official due date is September 19th.
2. Our go-to book for this fine pregnancy is Your Pregnancy Week by Week. This was recommended to us by savvy moms Meredith and Kristen (hey thanks!) over the more well-known What to Expect While You're Expecting.
3. On the web, BabyCenter.com is good for weekly email updates, especially on the size of the Little One. This week: the Little One is the size of a lime.
4. Yes, we'd like to find out the gender of the baby ahead of time. The recent trend is to wait and find out at the birth...we're bucking the trend and finding out early. Finding out early is the *new* waiting. We forgot to clarify if this can be done at The Birth Center, but I'm sure we'll find out soon. The Pod needs to know what color yarn to get for the baby blanket(s) she's going to crochet!
5. The Pod says the baby wants a pony...but I suspect it's really The Pod that wants a pony.
6. It's second trimester time! This is the "Babymoon", where The Pod is not queasy or exhausted all the time in the first trimester or the third trimester, where she'll be her heaviest. (Maybe even heavier than I am, if I haven't gained enough sympathy weight.)
7. The Pod and I like to call the Little One "Babycakes". (Awww...)
8. Yes, we do have names picked out. No, we won't tell you what they are.
9. The Pod's current top ice cream choices during this fine pregnancy: Chocolate Xtreme Blizzard (with vanilla ice cream) from Dairy Queen, gelato from Capogiro, and Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.10. I'm all ready for exciting baby-related technologies like car seats, cribs, monitors, papooses, and toys. Product research ahoy!
11. The Pod is not showing yet, but we suspect that will be coming soon.
12. "Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Surprise!...It's Old News
Flashback: After the success that was The Announcement, we thought it would be fun to do the same with The Pod's sister, "Big". ("Big" is short for Big Sister, whereas The Pod is Little Sister.) So we set up for the following Saturday after The Announcement to meet up with her and Mr. Rentz (a.k.a. "Boompah", from Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation) at her place in Brooklyn for a casual lunch. That got canceled when Boompah wasn't feeling well, so we rescheduled for the next weekend.
The time finally came, we got to Brooklyn, and Big mentioned that she baked a red velvet cake. This is exciting, because we like cake.
The Pod: "Can I see it?"
Big: "No."
Well, okay. Never mind then. Anyway, Boompah arrived soon after, and we finally sat them down and went through our elaborate ruse, brought out the wrapped "Aunt Big" and "Boompah" frames, and here's how it went.
All well and good...but not the end of the story: after "Aunt Big" had calmed down, she disappeared into her bedroom and produced gifts for *us*. (What, did you have these things for us in a "In Case of Pregnancy, Break Glass" box?)
And then she dropped the bomb: "I already knew."
WHAT?
At the time, Big was seeing a Filipino guy, and The Pod had in the back of her mind, maybe through the Filipino Network, she might find out before we could tell her. We laughed it off - contrary to popular belief, not every Filipino knows each other. The Filipino Network is an urban legend! She would not find out through the Filipino Network. Ha ha!
Then she did. Here's how it happened:
1. Big, on a date with said Filipino at a coffee shop, needed help with something online.
2. Filipino guy fixes online problem in 5 minutes. Them having paid for 60 minutes, he shows her his MySpace page to pass the time.
3. Somehow in the deep synapses of her brain, she remembers I have a MySpace page. And they find it. And find The Announcement. One click later, surprise ruined.
She almost called us right then, but she figured we wanted to spring the news on her in person, so she waited it out. Big's never been on MySpace in her entire life, and the one time she is, she finds out she's going to be an aunt?
Flash forward back to lunch, and Big brought out the red velvet cake that was previously classified information.
On the icing it said "CONGRATULATIONS".
The time finally came, we got to Brooklyn, and Big mentioned that she baked a red velvet cake. This is exciting, because we like cake.
The Pod: "Can I see it?"
Big: "No."
Well, okay. Never mind then. Anyway, Boompah arrived soon after, and we finally sat them down and went through our elaborate ruse, brought out the wrapped "Aunt Big" and "Boompah" frames, and here's how it went.
All well and good...but not the end of the story: after "Aunt Big" had calmed down, she disappeared into her bedroom and produced gifts for *us*. (What, did you have these things for us in a "In Case of Pregnancy, Break Glass" box?)
And then she dropped the bomb: "I already knew."
WHAT?
At the time, Big was seeing a Filipino guy, and The Pod had in the back of her mind, maybe through the Filipino Network, she might find out before we could tell her. We laughed it off - contrary to popular belief, not every Filipino knows each other. The Filipino Network is an urban legend! She would not find out through the Filipino Network. Ha ha!
Then she did. Here's how it happened:
1. Big, on a date with said Filipino at a coffee shop, needed help with something online.
2. Filipino guy fixes online problem in 5 minutes. Them having paid for 60 minutes, he shows her his MySpace page to pass the time.
3. Somehow in the deep synapses of her brain, she remembers I have a MySpace page. And they find it. And find The Announcement. One click later, surprise ruined.
She almost called us right then, but she figured we wanted to spring the news on her in person, so she waited it out. Big's never been on MySpace in her entire life, and the one time she is, she finds out she's going to be an aunt?
Flash forward back to lunch, and Big brought out the red velvet cake that was previously classified information.
On the icing it said "CONGRATULATIONS".
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Our First Appointment
Prologue: Before we even started trying to conceive, The Pod wanted to learn more about holistic, free-standing birth centers, for if we ever had a child. A few months ago she found one in Bryn Mawr, charmingly enough named The Birth Center.
We took a tour of the place last fall, and we really came away impressed with their personal, holistic approach to childbirth and their tastefully decorated (and fully furnished and equipped) birthing suites. Our choice was made, so when the time came, all we needed was a fertilized egg and our insurance card.
Done and done!
Fast forward to last Friday afternoon for our first pre-natal appointment. We arrived, and The Pod filled out a few forms, and then we met with Denise, one of the certified nurse-midwives on staff there, and she went through a thorough health history and explained more about the holistic care and other programs they provide at The Birth Center. Denise was really cool and I think we amused her with our general silly antics. Through the course of the pregnancy, we'll meet all of the nurse-midwives, so when The Pod goes into labor mode, we'll be familiar with all of them. Smart planning!
According to Denise's expert opinion, The Pod is progressing very well, and everything checks out nice and healthy. She tried to hear for the Little One's heartbeat, but sure enough, the Little One was a little shy. Denise assured us that nothing was wrong at all, but definitely by next month, we'll be able to hear a heartbeat for sure. (Recording alert!)
We left with a nice sheaf of interesting literature, and headed off to Peace A Pizza in King of Prussia for a victory dinner.
And now, your questions answered:
1. Holistic childbirth? What's that all about?
There's a lot "holistic" represents, but the basic ideas include: more personal control over the prenatal care, labor, birth, and postpartum care, a preference of natural processes over pharmaceutical, and an general environment that bears more resemblance to home than a hospital during the childbirth.
2. So what's so cool about these birthing suites, Wright?
The Birth Center's birthing suites are like apartments - a bedroom, bathroom (with jacuzzi), full kitchen and living room. The idea is to mimic being at home, and at The Birth Center you can have family and friends all be there waiting in the suite, as opposed to waiting in a hospital lobby or some such place. You can bring food and cook up whatever you want in the kitchen or watch TV. They have a really nice patio and garden out back too. Nice digs, and although they encourage you to go home as soon as possible after the birth (because home = sweet home), you're free to stay a while after to recover too.
3. So everything there is done by nurse-midwives? No doctors or hospitals?
Everything there is done by the nurse-midwives, but Bryn Mawr Hospital is literally right across the street should the need for even more specialized care arises.
4. Wait a minute, "natural processes over pharmaceutical"? What about epidurals?
The Birth Center strongly prefers not using an epidural. They got a whole spiel on it, but we didn't need to hear it, we ourselves aren't all into medicines unless absolutely necessary anyway. So The Pod is going to try to do it without an epidural. If the need absolutely arises, the show moves to the hospital and the epidural is administered. The Birth Center has about 13% of their mothers that wind up needing them, so not everyone goes without it.
5. Isn't this all far away?
It's 12 miles west of Center City Philadelphia. It's about an hour from Hamilton with the traffic. It's worth the trip for having prenatal care and such the way we want, in line with our values and all. And it's close to two Peace A Pizza locations. (And if you haven't ever had Peace A Pizza, try it and then you'll understand.)
We took a tour of the place last fall, and we really came away impressed with their personal, holistic approach to childbirth and their tastefully decorated (and fully furnished and equipped) birthing suites. Our choice was made, so when the time came, all we needed was a fertilized egg and our insurance card.
Done and done!
Fast forward to last Friday afternoon for our first pre-natal appointment. We arrived, and The Pod filled out a few forms, and then we met with Denise, one of the certified nurse-midwives on staff there, and she went through a thorough health history and explained more about the holistic care and other programs they provide at The Birth Center. Denise was really cool and I think we amused her with our general silly antics. Through the course of the pregnancy, we'll meet all of the nurse-midwives, so when The Pod goes into labor mode, we'll be familiar with all of them. Smart planning!
According to Denise's expert opinion, The Pod is progressing very well, and everything checks out nice and healthy. She tried to hear for the Little One's heartbeat, but sure enough, the Little One was a little shy. Denise assured us that nothing was wrong at all, but definitely by next month, we'll be able to hear a heartbeat for sure. (Recording alert!)
We left with a nice sheaf of interesting literature, and headed off to Peace A Pizza in King of Prussia for a victory dinner.
And now, your questions answered:
1. Holistic childbirth? What's that all about?
There's a lot "holistic" represents, but the basic ideas include: more personal control over the prenatal care, labor, birth, and postpartum care, a preference of natural processes over pharmaceutical, and an general environment that bears more resemblance to home than a hospital during the childbirth.
2. So what's so cool about these birthing suites, Wright?
The Birth Center's birthing suites are like apartments - a bedroom, bathroom (with jacuzzi), full kitchen and living room. The idea is to mimic being at home, and at The Birth Center you can have family and friends all be there waiting in the suite, as opposed to waiting in a hospital lobby or some such place. You can bring food and cook up whatever you want in the kitchen or watch TV. They have a really nice patio and garden out back too. Nice digs, and although they encourage you to go home as soon as possible after the birth (because home = sweet home), you're free to stay a while after to recover too.
3. So everything there is done by nurse-midwives? No doctors or hospitals?
Everything there is done by the nurse-midwives, but Bryn Mawr Hospital is literally right across the street should the need for even more specialized care arises.
4. Wait a minute, "natural processes over pharmaceutical"? What about epidurals?
The Birth Center strongly prefers not using an epidural. They got a whole spiel on it, but we didn't need to hear it, we ourselves aren't all into medicines unless absolutely necessary anyway. So The Pod is going to try to do it without an epidural. If the need absolutely arises, the show moves to the hospital and the epidural is administered. The Birth Center has about 13% of their mothers that wind up needing them, so not everyone goes without it.
5. Isn't this all far away?
It's 12 miles west of Center City Philadelphia. It's about an hour from Hamilton with the traffic. It's worth the trip for having prenatal care and such the way we want, in line with our values and all. And it's close to two Peace A Pizza locations. (And if you haven't ever had Peace A Pizza, try it and then you'll understand.)
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Announcement
With Alice being pregnant comes the fun of telling people. (Even though she was only a few weeks along, we couldn't wait to tell everyone.) But we already knew that telling my parents, especially my mom, would be good. So good that I knew we had to tell them in person, film it, and put it on YouTube.
The setup: We'd present them a "Christmas gift that we forgot to give them" and watch their surprised reactions when they opened it. Difficulty: we had to tell them before they left for the Philippines, which was less than 72 hours after we confirmed the results. So we got them a "Grandparents" picture frame, wrapped it up, and drove down to their house Saturday afternoon.
Thanks to Bud putting the video on his MySpace page for a few days, it's up to 236 views as of today. Wow! Thanks for watching!
The setup: We'd present them a "Christmas gift that we forgot to give them" and watch their surprised reactions when they opened it. Difficulty: we had to tell them before they left for the Philippines, which was less than 72 hours after we confirmed the results. So we got them a "Grandparents" picture frame, wrapped it up, and drove down to their house Saturday afternoon.
Thanks to Bud putting the video on his MySpace page for a few days, it's up to 236 views as of today. Wow! Thanks for watching!
Friday, February 9, 2007
What a question!
It's been exciting to share our news with people! Unexpectedly, a number of people that I tell at school immediately ask, "Oh, was it an accident?" One professor - PROFESSOR! - stopped me to find out if it was an 'oops'. (An oops? An oops is spilling a glass of orange juice, not mistakenly creating human life!)
I really wish people wouldn't ask me this question, because there is no tactful way to answer it. To say, "No, we were trying" immediately puts a mental picture in the person's head of my husband and I...well...'trying'. This is an image I don't want anyone in the world to have. Ever. Ever!
Because a 31-year-old married woman getting pregnant is hardly scandalous, my only conclusion is people think it's an accident because I haven't gotten my PhD yet. In academia, the only 'good' time to have a baby is right after you get tenure. Which will happen to me when I'm about 51 years old. But obviously I can't wait that long to have kids, because by then my mother-in-law would have killed me for not producing a grandchild!
My polite, well-mannered, quiet labmate came up with the best response to the question. "Just say to them, 'Yeah, the condom broke.'" At least that would end the conversation!
I really wish people wouldn't ask me this question, because there is no tactful way to answer it. To say, "No, we were trying" immediately puts a mental picture in the person's head of my husband and I...well...'trying'. This is an image I don't want anyone in the world to have. Ever. Ever!
Because a 31-year-old married woman getting pregnant is hardly scandalous, my only conclusion is people think it's an accident because I haven't gotten my PhD yet. In academia, the only 'good' time to have a baby is right after you get tenure. Which will happen to me when I'm about 51 years old. But obviously I can't wait that long to have kids, because by then my mother-in-law would have killed me for not producing a grandchild!
My polite, well-mannered, quiet labmate came up with the best response to the question. "Just say to them, 'Yeah, the condom broke.'" At least that would end the conversation!
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